Ashley N. Barker

Love shows on television have always weirded me out. It doesn’t matter if it’s a “bachelor” with 20 girls competing for his time and love, or a “cougar” who has 15 young men watching her every move. Just the thought of going to television to find the love of your life seems ridiculous to me. However, it does make for some pretty hilarious t.v. clips and I’ve learned from watching these shows that people truly are crazy.

This past week “For the Love of Ray J” finally wrapped up and if you haven’t watched it here is a brief over view of the show. Basically Ray J, a singer/rapper is looking for a girlfriend, (Note: This is the second season of the show. He broke up with the winner of last season.) and as the show progresses he narrows the girls down from around 20 to the final one winner. Yet another spoiler alert time: He finally picked “Mz Berry” (He assigned nicknames to each girl, her real name is actually Connie Deveaux) to be his girlfriend.

I will admit that I was pulling for her. She is a few years older than he is, is more down-to-Earth, and not a crazy, alcoholic, slut like 90% of the girls on this show. However, the issue I have here is that in the reunion show, which aired like four or five months after the last episode was taped, Mz Berry said that Ray J had not seen her since the final episode. Just to make sure you fully understand what I just said there, he picked her and then didn’t see her again for four months! If you are so in love with this person and you have millions of dollars to blow, wouldn’t you want to see them immediately? Then to top things off, like 10 of the other girls on the show said that they had seen Ray J since they were booted off. If that isn’t messed up then I don’t know what is.

Things like this in love shows drive me crazy. First of all, I don’t think you can find true love instantly in front of the world on national television. You might be able to find someone you really like and then after the show fall in love, but not in such a high-stress situation. Second of all, if you are creating a show solely based on wanting to settle down and find a “good” girl then why, when you pick the “good” girl, do you still go out with the “bad” ones and avoid her? I just don’t understand it. I guess that’s a good thing for me—I can find love without a television.

Ray J just wrapped up on VH1 as another love show started up—“Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair.” Basically for this disaster of a show, Frank (a guy who LOST on another love show) still lives in his parent’s basement at age 30, and decides to move 20 girls into the house too. He and his parents eliminate a girl every episode until eventually he finds “love” too. Like Ray J, I find this show completely insane. Basically the less clothing these girls wear the more appealing they seem to Frank, who is teetering back and forth on the loser mobile all on his own. Who really wants to pursue a 30-year-old who still lives with his parents? Geez.

I really feel like all of the girls (and guys) who try-out for these shows, and want to be on them to find love with these people need to take a step back and rethink their lives. In this final paragraph, I usually tease to what I’m going to discuss in my next blog post. I haven’t come up with a topic yet and was wondering if anybody had any suggestions for what they’d like me to comment on. I’m open to anything on television, with the exception of the weird porn that comes on HBO after midnight on the big TVs in the gym. Can someone that works there please change that next time? Thanks.

SPOILER ALERT: I will be discussing details from the finale of “Jersey Shore,” if you have not watched it and are planning to, than please do not continue reading. Otherwise, enjoy!

The finale of MTV’s controversial reality show, “Jersey Shore,” was a major let down to me. The eight, well seven since Angelina bailed early, Italian “guidos” and “guidettes” spent the entire season drinking, partying and hooking up with random people, but got all sentimental during the finale.

I admit that I anticipated them having a cry-fest when they had to move out and go back to their own lives, but I didn’t think the entire episode would be that boring. The previews for it led us to believe that Mike, “The Situation,” and Nicole, “Snooki,” were going to hook up (I’m using “hook up” here as a reference to having sex) in the hot tub. But, then when it finally came on all they did was kiss and then Mike jumped out—he actually denied having sex with a female. If you watch the show then you know that is just shocking in itself. But, that was the highlight of the episode.

Apparently the world is still supposed to be interested in Sammi and Ronnie’s relationship status, but we are all kind of over it. They are boring and want to be alone all the time. They rarely party as hard as the other roommates and their big story line centers on their multiple and often ridiculous fights. The finale was no different—they were fighting over how Ronnie going to jail was somehow worse for Sammi (drama queen). She kept saying, “This was like the first night that I was by myself.” How in the world does she ALWAYS make things about her? I mean really here, Ronnie slept in JAIL and she slept alone—she needs to get over herself. I’m sure he had a much worse night than she did. Geez.

Moving on now, before I hyperventilate from being so angry at Sammi, whose nickname “Sweetheart,” definitely isn’t accurate. We’ll back track a little bit to discuss Snooki again. Before her so-called “hookup” with Mike, she got rejected by like 65,402 guys for a simple date. I kind of understand where they are coming from here, she’s a little pushy, slutty, and all around strange to watch. How many times did she does flips while wearing a skirt, with no underwear on, and had to have her private parts blurred out? That’s just trashy. But, watching her get more and more upset after every guy said no to her was just hilarious—not sure it was meant to be though.

The “Jersey Shore” finale broke all kinds of records for MTV though. A record 4.8 million people watched the semi-bore-fest, and if they are at all like me, they were let down. Considering the beginning of the season caused an uproar about the degradation of Italians with their use of “guido” and “guidette” those numbers are huge, and has prompted the cast to demand $1,000 (I just heard $10,000, so I'm not sure which to actually believe here) per episode to come back for another season. That’s a lot more than the approximate $200 per episode they were paid for this season—but not really. Getting almost 5 million people to watch MTV is pretty impressive, and I’m thinking if the network is smart they will continue to meet their “stars” demands.

We’ll have to wait and see if the same cast members come back for another season, or if we are going to have a completely different group of fist-pumping, excessively spiked hair, fake boobed, and orange tanned Italians. Either way it should be interesting.

Next week look forward to my opinions about the various love shows on television—from “For the Love of Ray J” to “Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair.” Start watching them now!